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Why r women considered stronger than men ?
Ans: b’coz they carry 2 mountains on their chest whereas men carry just 2 stones with the help of crane!

Arz hai …

Muskaan ko honthon tak laaya na karo….

Mummon ko upar se dikhaya na karo….

Log haath mein Lund liye phirte hain….

Apni Gaand itni hilaya na karo.

A woman guest approaches the bar in a small restaurant.

She calls the guy at the bar and when he is standing in front of her, she asks him in a very seductive way to come nearer. Then she bends over the desk and starts to caress his beard. ‘Are you the owner of this place?’ she asks and touches tenderly his cheek.

‘Ehhh. No. Not at all!’ he replies.

‘Would you please call him here?’ the lady asks and gently touches his hair.

‘Oh, I’m very sorry. But no. Impossible!’ the man sighs.

‘Would you then please do me a great favour?’ the lady asks and follows gently the line of his lips.

‘Of course. What ever you wish!’ the man moans.

‘I want to leave a message for the boss!’ she says and let first one – then two – fingers slip into his mouth which he gently sucks on.

‘What message?’ he asks with the two fingers in his mouth.

‘Please tell him that there is no paper, nor soap, nor towel in the lady’s room!’

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Jaspinder meets a her school friend after 20 years and tells her how her life has been great and that she has 10 children.

‘Wow!’ says her friend. ‘What are their names?’

‘Mandeep, Mandeep, Mandeep, Mandeep, Mandeep, Mandeep, Mandeep, Mandeep, Mandeep and Mandeep,’ she answers, smiling proudly.

Her friend looks at her dubiously. ‘Really?’ she says. ‘So what if you want them to come in from playing outside?’

‘That’s easy, I just shout Mandeep and they all come running,’ answers Jaspinder.

Her friend is not convinced. ‘And what if you want them to come to the table for dinner?’ she asks. ‘Again,’ she says, ‘I just shout ‘Mandeep, dinner’s ready!”

‘But wait a minute,’ says her friend. ‘What if you just want one of them to do something?’

‘That is slightly more difficult,’ says the woman, nodding. ‘Then I have to use their last names.’

Little Johnny walked into his dad’s bedroom one day only to catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his penis in preparation of sex with his wife.

Johnny’s father in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it bent over as if to look under the bed. Little Johnny asked curiously ‘What ya doin dad?’

His father quickly replied, ‘I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed.’

To which Little Johnny replied ‘What ya gonna do, screw him?’

The local paper in Delhi carries an advert for a job opening for a male for the post of ‘ladies pubic hair shaver’.

Santa Singh rings up the number shown, and the man answers the phone asks him some questions.

‘First things first,’ he says. ‘Are you single?’

‘Oh yes,’ says the applicant.

‘That’s good,’ says the man, ‘we’ve had a lot of trouble in the past with people who are married. Their wives get annoyed. Now, secondly, do you have a current ten-year passport?’

‘Yes,’ says the young applicant.

‘Brilliant,’ says the man. ‘Often we find that people have a problem with travelling all over the globe for shaving young models who travel to different countries.

‘Oh no, not me,’ says Santa. ‘I love to travel.’

‘Great,’ says the man. ‘And what about supermodels? Do you think you’d have a problem getting close to beautiful women like Aishwarya, Sushmita? Apart from shaving them, you might even have to party with them and keep them company. How would you deal with that?’

‘I’d be fine,’ says the applicant.

‘I love talking to women and I don’t think I’d be intimidated.’

‘Excellent,’ says the man. ‘Now, what about the shaving of the most private parts of a woman? Would you get flustered peeling bikini bottoms off beautiful women, foaming them up and shaving their pubic regions? This sort of intimacy can sometimes make a man nervous.’

‘No way,’ says Santa Singh. ‘I have no problem with nudity or intimacy with gorgeous women. I’d be both discreet and charming.’

‘Well,’ says the man, ‘you sound as if you could be just right for the job. I’ll send you a rail-ticket for Kanyakumari.’

‘Is that where my first job is?’ asks Santa very excited.

‘Oh no,’ says the man. ‘That’s where the queue for the interviews starts!’

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle.

She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him what he did for sex.

‘What’s that?’ he asked.

She explained to him what sex was and he said ‘Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree.’

‘Tarzan, you have it all wrong,’ she says horrified, ‘but I will show you how to do it properly.’

She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide.

‘Here,’ she said, ‘You must put it in here.’

Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch.

Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, ‘What the hell did you do that for?’

‘Just checking for bees,’ said Tarzan.